Native

Suicide 

On April 11, 2021 I woke up and clearly heard the word, “SUICIDE” and I literally couldn’t breathe before fully waking up. I fervently started praying for everyone that I could possibly think of. I prayed that whoever this was for wouldn’t give into that life stealing spirit, that robs us of so many loved ones very lives. 

At a later date, when I was looking into American Indian/Alaska Natives suicide rates, I found out that we have the highest rate than any other racial/ethnic group in the United States, up to three times higher than any other. This shouldn’t be! God is going to use the Native Americans/Alaska Natives in such a powerful way in these end times that the enemy is literally trying to destroy them, one by one. I felt led to briefly share a few stories of some of the people that I personally knew that had sadly taken their own life. As hard as this is to share, these were real people, not just a statistic. If this post helps one person, then it was worth it to stir up the remembrance of them.

The earliest memory I have of a friend committing suicide, was of a childhood neighbor. This young man’s name was David and he practically lived at our house during our teen years. He seemed very quiet until my brother and I got alone with him, and then he shared everything with us. Even sad things, like people at school making fun of him because of his appearance. He had very full lips and that seemed to cause his peers to taunt him. I wish I was serving God back then so I could have helped steer the situation toward a trauma healing session.

One time, David gave me a CD by one of my favorite secular bands. He smiled ear to ear when he gave it to me and it was so sweet. He liked to just hang out with our family. I remember how he used to just sit at our family’s dining room table and watch my mom cook. One time she gave him her meal because he looked so longingly at it. He was not only my brothers best friend, but had grown to be a part of our family as well. 

Then, one day we heard sirens wailing as they drove by our house. I walked up to our living room window and when the emergency vehicles drove by, my hand was shaking so bad that my peas were rattling all around my plate. I just knew something bad had happened to David. My mom and sister walked down the street and came back confirming what we already knew deep inside. David had taken his life by starting a car in his garage and falling asleep…..forever.

This really messed me up as a teenager. I remember crying my makeup off all over David’s dads suit jacket during his funeral. I kept asking why the church people couldn’t raise David back up to life again. His dad just cried silent tears down his cheeks and looked away. My brother’s life was never the same again. We all felt such a huge loss from our friend taking his young  life and ending it forever on this earth. 

I also can’t help but remember my cousin Sherri. She had an outgoing personality but struggled with child hood trauma and addictions. She left a young son alone in this world when she stabbed herself and ended her life. I wasn’t close to her, but I did feel the loss in our family line as did her beautiful twin sister. The loss is still felt in our family to this day with never ending if only’s, filling the airways for all her future generations left behind. 

Then there was Jim. Bill and I  had a neighbor named Jim. He was a single dad and had three children that he was raising alone. We partied back then and hung out with his family all the time. Then when we moved to Palmer from Anchorage we saw them a lot less but they still came out for Thanksgiving and such since as our daughters were best friends. I remember as he was leaving our house one evening he pulled me aside and asked me if I would take his children. He told me he had money in the bank and everything. I was concerned and told him so but he just brushed it off and that was the last time that I saw him. I found out that his children found him in the bathtub after coming home from school one day. He had shot himself in the shower and passed on in the ambulance on the way to the hospital. Once again, we were all shattered with this horrible tragedy. I tried to get custody of his children but the state gave them to relatives in the village that heir mom was from. We grieved for years after that painful incident and the hurt still affects us to this day. 

One of the most shocking and painful memories of someone that I knew that had committed suicide was of my childhood best friend, Jacquie. When met in second grade. I remember drawing with a group of girls and Jacquie’s artwork instantly grabbed my attention. She impressed me by drawing lightning bolts on the  boots of the character she drew. I was so impressed! I still remember how they looked perfectly to this day. I saw her off and on throughout the years but we had drifted apart. I found her again in high school and set her up as a blind date for a friend of mine. Even though their relationship never hit if off, we became close friends again after that night. We hung out constantly and were really crazy together. We partied all the time and we were inseparable during our teen years. We moved in next door to each other as young adults, and had our first daughters together. We both even named our girls with names that started with K’s. 

After we each had a few kids we ended up drifted apart again. She moved to the Aleutian chain and I stopped drinking and was starting to get into the things of God. We didn’t have a whole lot in common anymore but would talk every once in a while. Then I got a call from her brother. He tearfully told me that Jacquie had killed herself. I was in shock and disbelief. Her boyfriend had recently died after a bad fall and she had a really hard time with his death. I heard she was found in the bathroom with a trash bag over her head. This was another horrible loss of life that should have never happened. She left three children without a mother. I shoved down the pain and took many years to find healing after this devastating incident. 

Another very sad life that was lost was an Inupiaq cousin of mine, named George. After crying wolf for years that he was going to harm himself, he ended up stabbing himself to death after a long battle with mental illness. This young man never learned to live before he died all too soon. 

Lastly, my nephew Nathan took his life a while back. He had spent several years in jail and when he finally got out he sadly started using drugs again. He was found sitting in a chair positioned toward the ocean, wearing a pair of sunglasses still connected to the bedsheet that he strangled himself with. What a loss! He was handsome and amazingly talented young man and he is gone from our earthly lives, forever. He wasn’t in our land but he was from here and he was Inipiaq. I pray my sister win at least fifty souls into the Kingdom of God for the pain she has gone through. And fifty more get delivered from alcohol and drugs just by her sharing her testimony in Jesus Name! 

I shared each of these heart wrenching, tragic, stories so that others could be aware of this horrible life draining spirit that comes to steal, kill, and destroy. These attributes of our enemy are mentioned in John 10:10. I remember many times when I was tempted to take my own life. One time while out drinking with some friends I recall finding a razor in the bathroom and slicing my own wrists. I remember watching my blood drip down the tub and when one of my friends saw me she wrapped my wrists up and pulled me out of that pit of despair. There have been many other times I was tempted to end my life so I am sure others have had visits from the spirit of suicide as well. I noticed that these demonic spirits mostly succeed in their evil plots when there is alcohol or drugs impairing the mind. 

We must pray and declare that suicide not be aloud to manifest in our families lives any longer. I realize we can’t blame ourselves when a loved one does succumb to these lying spirits but we can pray and loose the blood over our loved ones. We plead the blood over our justification through what Jesus finished on the cross and we loose the blood for protection. 

One time I felt a huge call to pray for an individual with big time fervency. I ran into my prayer closet and cried out for them until the burden  lifted much later when I finally felt it was finished. When I shared about this with a relative of theirs they immediately asked when this had happened. I told them and then they shared that this person that I was praying for was depressed and admitted to heavenly battling suicide during that exact timeframe. We need to learn how to hear God clearly and be obedient when God tells us to pray for one of His children. One way that we can reveal this horrible spirit is to shine light on it and take off its cloak of darkness. We need to talk about these things and get rid of the need to hide what it is doing at all costs and not just hoping the painful memories will go away by shoving them into a dark corner. We need to grieve and accept our healing so that we can help others and be aware of what goes on in the spirit realm. Suicide really affects and hurts the loved ones that are left behind. In some of the studies I read, some other family members and loved ones took their life after losing a close loved one through suicide. If you personally are battling depression or suicidal thoughts,  please let someone know about it so that we/they can help you. If you would like us to pray with or for you then please contact us and a member of our team will pray for you right away! These are real situations and need genuine intercession and prayers. 

I want to share one last story here that I believe ties in with everything that was shared here. While driving around early one morning I saw a scene that jarred me to the core. There was a fence, high up on a hill, that someone had tied a scarf to. From the scarf was dangling a sad stuffed bear. It wasn’t just a cute scene that my overactive imagination turned evil. The scarf was tied in such a way that replicated a suicidal hanging scene, dangling back and forth for all the world to see. As soon as I laid eyes on it, I instantly felt it was demonic. I just knew that it was placed there so that someone that was battling suicide would see it and see it as a sign to take their own life. I drove until I could park safely, which came to be about a mile from the scene. I didn’t have a coat on and the shoes that I wore that day were not ideal for those type of winter conditions. I was so angry that I didn’t care at the time. I stormed up that path and trembled with indignation as I freed the bear down with a knife. As the bear dangled from the remaining scarf pieces in my hands, I felt like I was holding the head of Goliath. I carried it from the scarf piece with the bear dangling all the way down the hill to my car. Since the scarf and bear still had the second hand store tags stapled to them, this meant that someone had strategically purchased those items and hung them in that exact location…. on purpose. I declared witchcraft broken in that area and that stronghold have no power over this region any longer in the name of Jesus. Something happened after that in the spirit realm. Just as I cut that bear free, I felt like that area be cut free from that thing that was swelling there. Things were breaking in the spirit as I was declaring and decreeing and those strongholds were coming down! The scripture that comes to mind is Proverbs 21:22, “A wise man scales the city of the mighty and brings down the trusted strongholds.” 

We need to bring these things to the light and then command them to “GO” in Jesus Name. Jesus not only triumphed over these principalities and strongholds but he made a spectacle of them. Colossians 2:15, “Having disarmed principalities and powers, He make a public spectacle of them, triumphing over them in it!” Principalities: Chief, of order, time, place, or rank, power, principality, principle rule…

We declare and decree that suicide NOT have access to our people in this land any longer. We loose the blood of Jesus and the Name of Jesus over all of our generations and borders of Alaska. We pray that the people’s eyes be open to what is really happening in the spirit realm. We pray for freedom from addictions and harmful methods to medicate past traumas, giving these spirits access to us or our loved ones. We declare an AWAKENING to our people to intimately know our Creator God and serve Him only To genuinely know God as our Father. We value living on this earth and choose life for us and our future generations in Jesus Name. Teach us Holy Spirit to do the will of the Father on earth, just Like Jesus did. We repent for every sin we committed up to this moment. Please wash us, cleanse us, and set us free. Fill us afresh with Your Presence! To God be all the praise, glory and honor forever more! Amen.